We've all heard phrases, like "Hitting the Wall", "Weathering the Storm" "Going Over the Cliff," "Never Give Up," "Overcoming all Obstacles," and "You can't keep a good man down," as reminders to see, face, address, or be defeated by life's challenges.
Both persistence and resistance play an important role in addressing life, roadblocks, and opportunities but the two words have different meanings and attributes. Both are important to know, learn about, and implement for success in life and work.
Perseverance (persistence) is unwavering determination and tenacity to continue pursuing a goal or objective, even when faced with obstacles, setbacks, or challenges along the way. Persistent people maintain a steadfast focus on their desired outcomes. They refuse to give up easily and are willing to invest time, effort, funds, and energy into overcoming difficulties. They often view setbacks as temporary roadblocks. They adapt their strategies when necessary and keep moving forward, undeterred by temporary failures, regardless of how much time it takes to achieve success.
When we discuss resilience, we refer to the ability to "bounce back" from adversity, setbacks, or difficult circumstances. Resilient people recover, adapt, and even thrive when faced with stress, trauma, or challenges. They may embrace change and see it as a welcome challenge to find new ways of approaching problems. They learn from failures and grow stronger in the face of adversity. Resilient people keep a positive outlook despite difficult situations and their resilience enables them to navigate life's ups and downs and emerge stronger.
Persistence keeps us focused and determined, driving us forward.
Resilience helps us bounce back, adapt, and thrive in the face of challenges.
But today, I want to focus on perseverance, persistence, and determination.
When we are determined and continue to push forward in our actions, even if we meet resistance along the way, that's perseverance!
It means we focus on the goal that we intend to reach. That can be a goal in our work lives, our financial or educational situation, our relationships, or our self-improvement or life happiness.
What we invest in shows what is important to us. When we invest our time and energy in reaching our goals, that perseverance also reflects how important that goal is to us.
“Obstacles don't have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don't turn around and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it.”(Michael Jordan)
The strange thing is that until we are tested, we never know how we will persevere. We also don't know where our strengths are until we've tested and retested those strengths. That's what perseverance does for us. We can guess and believe we will always persevere, but oftentimes, it comes down to the situation and how our goals and desires fit into that situation.
For example, if I think I will be a great chess player, however, after playing a few games, discover I'm not crazy about the game. I may put the game board aside and focus on other things. But suppose one of my sons picks up my game board, reads the rules, and discovers he enjoys chess. He may take my game board to the park and learn the game, playing the game every chance he gets against the chess players in the park and anyone he can find. He may end up being the Podunk, TX Chess Master of the Year. Why was he successful and I wasn't? He showed an interest in the game, was fully committed to learning it, and showed perseverance. I didn't.
In life, we're all going to face adversity and obstacles, some of our own making, some
of which happen unexpectedly. We will all experience that moment when things seem bleak, where we don't know where to turn, feel trapped, or believe we will suffer loss or maybe even lose everything. It's that time when either failure or loss tears away plans we've made and dreams we've envisioned. Maybe everything that we've been building towards, all of the progress and struggle and sacrifice, falls apart.
We may be unsure if there’s a way to pick up the pieces. No matter where we are in life, whether buying a house, building a career, developing a relationship, reaching an important goal, or even trying to relax, there’s the chance you’re going to run into THE WALL. It's when we hit the wall that we suddenly find out if we have persistence...or can develop it.
THE WALL is the limit of our abilities, emotions, patience, or luck. THE WALL is the point where we find that our efforts are not good enough, and where we find our greatest struggles. THE WALL is where it seems we are beaten.
But it doesn’t have to be.
Turns out, we climb THE WALL every single day!
That’s right. We climb the wall hundreds of times a day. It’s in our head, and we can conquer it.
We will talk about some ways to refocus, dust ourselves off, and get over that beast. There isn’t any single, unified approach. There’s no “one-size-fits-all” road to success, even though many self-help books insist there is. But there ARE skills, tactics, and mindsets that we can use to keep ourselves in the fight, no matter what that fight may be.
THE WALL may be where we fail at first, but it must not be where we give up.
I'd like to share four steps that help anyone persevere.
The first, and most important step in overcoming an obstacle is to identify the thing that prevents us from achieving our goals and to define the obstacle itself. To do that, we also must have a firm grasp on what our goal is, and the conditions in which we will find satisfaction. We do this kind of evaluation subconsciously all of the time; “I am hungry, I do not have a burger,” for example. The solution to the obstacle is straightforward, in this case. We can hit a drive-thru, or get the pan out and make it ourselves.
When the Obstacle becomes more complex, however, we may have to take more time and put more effort into examining what is hindering our progress. I know this may seem like basic-level stuff, but the fundamentals are important. We must be capable of expanding our awareness of the situation before we can dissect and dismantle the obstacle.
We have to be able to slow things down, stop and pay attention, focus, and see where we can improve.
This step comes with an important task, which cannot, or MUST NOT be skipped. We have to figure out if we can win the fight at all, or if we need to.
2. Ultimately, we cannot overcome everything. Failure is as much a part of the human experience as success, and while it often feels like defeat is a precursor to great loss, it is rarely that serious. There are exceptions, especially if we must face health situations over which we have little or no control.
As we analyze our situation, we may even find that encountering the wall has made us realize our priorities are skewed, need to be adjusted, or the obstacles have challenged us to grow or obtain success we would not have otherwise obtained.
It's through our time taken to truly analyze our wall that we discover we may be spinning our wheels unnecessarily, even persistently. That's when we need to apply that persistence to other areas of our life that matter!
Often, our emotions distort our perception, and we place a heightened level of importance on the immediate challenge that might not be necessary, or appropriate. By taking a step back, examining our emotional response, and reframing the problem through a lens of rationality, we might find that the thing that currently confounds us may be out of our control, or something that can be side-stepped entirely.
Save yourself the frustration of climbing THE WALL if you don’t need to or want to!
Frank Partnoy said it clearly, "Life might be a race against time, but it is enriched when we rise above our instincts and stop the clock to process and understand what we are doing and why."
A bonus is If you take the time to determine that you care about the problem you are facing, the next steps become easier, and you can adjust how much you care later down the line. It’s vital to note: that the actions and feelings of other people are not under our control. If your rational examination of THE WALL reveals someone else is controlling your progress, you’ll have to adjust your strategy. More on that later, but for now, keep a focus on what YOU can accomplish. Once we’ve figured out what the obstacle is, and that there is something we can do to overcome it, we have to enact the plan.
Whether it’s physical improvement, relationship goals, or learning a new skill, having a course of action that includes intent and commitment is necessary. A bonus is to simply write it down. In short, you must maintain the idea that "I CAN DO THIS" in your mind at all times! Learn to manage emotions and expectations until that idea becomes a reality, whether it takes a short time or a long time.
Specificity can be extraordinarily helpful in this stage; it’s better to set a plan that includes milestones of performance. It’s hard to lose 20 pounds or play the guitar like Hendrix, but if our plan is “eat more vegetables and eat less pie” or “learn how to play a chord this week,” we can break THE WALL into manageable “sections.” The smaller the sections, the easier they are to get over or master.
OK, we have our plan, our goal, and the all-important realistic and rational appraisal of our ability. We’re almost there!
3. Now, we must build our skills and find our flow, and this part can take years. Ideally, it will take the rest of your life. Ultimately, if we can conquer THE WALL, we will do so by improving ourselves, our communication, our focus, and our habits.
Here, you’ll want to do something easy to say, and hard to accomplish; Detach your sense of self-worth from success or failure. No kidding, this part is difficult. It’s INCREDIBLY counter-intuitive to reaffirm that failure does not make you a bad person.
An amazing thing happens to us when we persevere through difficult tasks. Our brain's reward center is turned on and our body's natural anti-depressant and feel-good neurotransmitter, dopamine, is released. When it's released, it becomes a strong motivator for us to continue. We may feel further inspired! We feel like we are winning and it feels good! You've probably heard it said, "Success leads to success" and that's often true because as our perseverance pays off, it feels good and increases our confidence.
There will still be ups and downs but our brains will teach us to focus on those successes.
Naturally, there is a sense of scale to be considered; failure to meet a deadline is less of an indication of your character than, say, failure to remain faithful in a relationship, so this step needs to be performed carefully. If THE WALL you face will affect other people, you need to communicate with them, honestly and openly, before you begin attempting a course of action.
This is essentially your chance to call in a secret weapon. If you can, get help. If THE WALL is too tough to break down on your own, find someone with a jackhammer. If you don’t naturally have the skill set necessary to achieve your goal, getting assistance from someone who does will help you develop new skills more efficiently.
In most cases, the people who can help you have had to do the same thing themselves. For obstacles like physical fitness, this might be a personal trainer or a gym buddy. For relationship hurdles, we (of course) highly recommend therapy, or at the very least, an honest and open discussion with the people involved in the relationship. If you’re trying to develop new skills, or a new career, get insight from the people who have walked that road before or who have expertise in those areas. They may show you holes in THE WALL that you didn’t see before and help you overcome the wall more quickly or successfully.
4. Finally, you’re going to want to find a community. NO MATTER WHAT YOUR STRUGGLE IS, YOU NEED COMMUNITY, even if it’s a problem that you can solve yourself.
Community can be co-workers, our bosses, family, or friends. It may be a group we attend, whether through our community, a business group, a speaking group, or a coaching group. Oftentimes the best groups are those who are facing the same obstacles or share the same common goals that we have. Whatever, the group, only participate in those that advocate for you, encourage you to persist, and help you do so. Don't waste your time in groups that discourage or undermine your efforts or compete against you rather than being a group that builds up its members.
Sometimes when we are discouraged, it may be one or two people's encouragement that keeps us going and helps us maintain or regain our strength. That's why those individuals and groups are important. But if we don't have such a group, we can learn to persevere by ourselves, even though it may be more difficult.
But know yourself. Do you work better in groups or by yourself? Think about how you work best, but then try to obtain support of others, whether friend, spouse, or associates.
We are human. We are going to fail, possibly several times, until we succeed, and we ALL hit THE WALL. We need other people, people who understand the struggle can provide support, and share the things we value.
Sometimes, we will need encouragement through the harder parts of our personal growth, even if it comes from someone uninvolved in our WALL. We need people to celebrate when we finally get over the top, and we need to share what we have learned as well. It is incredibly important that we share the lessons that we have learned with others, to lessen the burden of the struggle.
Humans have the most amazing capacity for change and achievement. It may take a ton of time. It might take assistance, organization, or tools. But that’s life and getting over THE WALL is what makes our lives, and our communities, better, stronger, and more capable of supporting each other. In the end, that’s the greatest goal.
Once we hit the top of THE WALL, we can start building bridges. And that’s when we can become advocates to help others get over their walls and find joy in both our and their journeys.
Watch for upcoming articles about dealing with adversity (how to use it to make you stronger), increasing resilience (ability to adjust and refocus), and the ability to let go (of things that burden or are harming you). Discover when and how each of those, as well as perseverance, are important life tools to include in your box of skill sets. I encourage you to also visit my blog page for updates as articles appear at Resources | Articles by Clifton Fuller)
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